Born to Surf, Forced to Work for the Man.
+ your protein powder is probably lead-ladened
Good morning everyone.
You know when you think you know someone—what they love, what they stand for, what holds them together—until one day, they cut the very thread you thought defined them? Well that happened to me yesterday.
With a carelessness that took me off guard, an ostensibly healthy friend texted to say she’d just had a Mr. Pibb.
I had to look it up. Turns out it’s a soda. One that packs 38 grams of sugar, courtesy of high fructose corn syrup.
Corn syrup is a godless sweetener that I wouldn’t even wish upon Hamas. It’s linked to variety of cancers, diabetes, heart disease, and neurodegenerative diseases like Parkinson’s.
Running On Butter believes that sweet treats belong in the abundant, good life. Homemade chocolate chip cookies? Great. Grandma’s pumpkin pie? Lovely.
But there’s absolutely no room for corn syrup here on this train. If you must drink a soda, go for a Olipop or Zevia.
And to the friend who found herself receiving a phone cALl from mE after teXting in her moment of weakness: the first step toward progress is admitting there’s a problem. I’m here for you on this road to recovery.
Starbucks just launched its new protein cold brew line, and Buttercup Abigail from Hawaii asked for my take. Her review: “Ngl it actually tasted great.” My take? Twenty-five grams of added sugar 😍. We can do better Abigail. Especially with how gnarly most protein powders already are these days…
A new Consumer Reports analysis of 23 popular protein powder brands found that more than two-thirds (mostly plant-based proteins) contained more lead per serving than what’s considered safe for a full day’s consumption—some by more than ten times. Reason number 53,405 to not be vegan.
If you’re looking to not eat lead with your protein, my favorite company—Elite Fuel—just re-tested their heavy metal levels, and they came in well below what’s considered safe.
Their protein comes from grass-fed goat whey, sourced from my friends’ farm back home in Washington State. If there’s one thing I love as much as butter, it’s goat whey. But Running On Goat Whey doesn’t quite have the same ring to it.
A lot of people who don’t tolerate regular cow’s milk well (myself included) find that goat whey goes down easy.
Anyway, if you want to try it yourself, use code BUTTERCUP at checkout for 15% off your order.
Tiger Woods is getting his 7th back surgery, a lumbar disc replacement. I’m collecting research on what’s gained—and what’s lost—when we replace body parts with metal or plastic. Stay tuned.
California’s banning ultra-processed foods in schools. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Running On Butter stands with Governor Newsom.
We see you, Gavin. We know you’re reading this hallowed space. An underground Buttercup, if you will. We know you’re crafting your state policy after our wisdom and insights, and for that, we salute you. We take zero—absolutely zero—credit for any of the other policies (homelessness, crime, affordability, biblical fires, etc.).I recently did a deep dive on alcohol here. A must read, if I do say so myself. But I didn’t include this new review evaluating how men’s drinking habits negatively affect those around them. “Globally, there has been poor recognition that others’ drinking—and particularly men’s drinking—contributes to many harms to women and children,” the study’s author noted.
Born to surf but forced to work for the man? I’ve got good news. For just $32 a class, you can now do a surf workout in Times Square. Hang loose, Buttercups.
Today, when I heard Adele’s When We Were Young, I was reminded of her weight-loss journey back in 2020—before Ozempic was added to the LA water supply. Adele lost weight the old-fashioned way: by lifting weights and eating well. How quaint. Archaic? Yes. Admirable? Absolutely. Anyway, this week let’s be like Adele: work out, eat well, and set fire to the rain.
I’m picking up what you’re putting down 😉
I’m invested in your content in a new way now. 😂