health news round-up
parties in the Hamptons, FDA drops Covid vaccine recs, CrossFit Comps
Goodbye Oatly, we won’t miss you: Poetic justice. That was my first thought reading the Financial Times piece: Oatly’s stock down 98%, while real milk—from-a-cow milk—saw a 3.8% consumption increase in America. Plant-based “milk” was never about your health. And no one’s smiling wider than me at its downfall. Have fun in prison.
Adding meat to plant-based “meat”: In yet another sign that We the People are rejecting fake food, plant-based “meat” companies are now shifting gears and—get this—they’re adding real meat to their products, according to a report from my favorite propagandists over at The Washington Post. Sensing the rise—and political power—of the Carnivores, companies like Impossible Foods are now rolling out “blended” or “balanced” proteins, combining 30–70% plant ingredients with actual meat.
Personally, I love a good combo. From ages 5 to 18, I’m pretty sure 95% of my calories came from the greatest food pairing of all time: peanut butter and jam (jelly is for peasants). And let’s not forget the other icons. Milk and espresso, chocolate and hazelnuts, Brad and Angelina, etc.
But I’m not vibing with this plant and meat combo. Consider the extensive processing required to make these meat-ish products. It’s giving Industrial Capitalism, not Garden of Eden. And we want the latter. With meat.
Hamptons loves its synthetic fertilizer: I grew up with a killer lawn. Big, bright green, and aggressively weed-free. The secret? Weed N Feed. It worked very well. But it’s known to have some charming side effects, like fertility problems and hormone disruption. Once I learned that, I launched a full-blown campaign to get my dad and brothers to quit the stuff.
It took a few years, several science articles, and a never-quit spirit. But I’m proud to report: Voetberg Hill is now officially synthetic fertilizer-free. The lawn’s still thriving. So are our reproductive systems (see: 37 grandkids).
The Hamptons, on the other hand—home to the ultra-wealthy—isn’t quite ready to give up the synthetic fertilizers. According to The Wall Street Journal, that reluctance is fueling toxic algae blooms that degrade the environment and harm marine life.
Now before you write me off as a liberal (I’m flattered), let’s get one thing straight: when we harm the environment, it comes back to harm us. The health of the earth directly—and profoundly—shapes our own. And my smart conservative friends: You don’t have to abandon common sense to acknowledge this reality.
If conservatives want to be the party of common sense, then let’s act like it. Let’s protect what’s beautiful.
As for the Hamptons elite—yes, I’m looking at you, Jennifer Lopez and Robert Downey Jr., and your legendary 4th of July parties—Running On Butter won’t say no to a good party.
Lauren Sánchez—environmental heroine: Engaged to America’s second least favorite billionaire, Jeff Bezos, Lauren Sánchez is all the hot goss these days. And as if it weren’t already obvious, she’s got a big heart. Especially for the environment. So naturally, she accepted an environmental award in Cannes, after rolling up in her and Mr. Amazon’s mega yacht, Koru.
From Louis Pisano: “Koru is a 417-foot schooner with its own backup yacht , a shadow vessel that follows behind like a luxury parasite, carrying toys, staff, and most notably, the helipad. The main yacht is too elegant, too precious, to be burdened with such practicalities.
Together, the vessels burn through hundreds of gallons of diesel per hour. According to researchers from Indiana University and Oxfam, Bezos’s sailing yacht Koru emits approximately 7,154 metric tons of CO₂ annually, the equivalent of emissions from around 1,500 average cars.”
I will never not love a good celebrity hypocrisy moment.
FDA drops Covid booster recs: The FDA just announced it will no longer recommend Covid boosters for everyone under 65. Vaccine makers will also have to prove—brace yourself—that their boosters actually work. “It’s a restoration of trust,” said Dr. Vinay Prasad, head of the FDA’s vaccine division, in an interview with The Free Press. “It’s bringing us back to evidence.”
Let’s not forget: the FDA once recommended Covid boosters for babies as young as six months.
I am so, so, so thrilled about this development. Running On Butter salutes Dr. Prasad, Dr. Makary, and anyone else bold enough to stand up to the vaccine makers who run this country like it’s cardio.
As if I needed another reason to defame energy drinks: a new study published in Nature found that taurine—the amino acid added to energy drinks—promotes leukemia growth in mice.
Taurine is a natural amino acid, with about 40–60 mg found in a 4-ounce steak. In contrast, drinks like Red Bull add 1,000 mg of synthetic taurine per can—up to 50 times the amount that nature provides.
I want to give a special shout-out to my friend Kevin Munson, who drank some sort of godless energy drink (I’m forgetting the brand name) before we did a team CrossFit competition a few weeks ago. I care about Kevin, and specifically told him not to consume such a deleterious beverage before our event, fearing he’d collapse on the competition floor.
Anyway, Kevin didn’t have a heart attack. But we didn’t win the competition. We got second. I don’t like silver. I wanted gold. And I’m blaming our loss on Kevin’s energy drink. (photo below.)
What was the solution to a nice lawn without the cancer? We opted for terrible lawn and no cancer.