Health News Round-Up
Vitamin D stalls aging, protein Cheerios, and Miley Cyrus in the ICU
Before we dive into the health news, I have something patriotic (and buttery) to share with the Buttercup community: the official Running On Butter 4th of July T-shirt, pictured below.
There are few things I love more than butter. One of them is America.
So this year, skip the tacky Walmart rhinestone flag tee and wear something that actually speaks your language. It’s giving carnivore in Nantucket. It’s giving heritage.
Skip the Protein Cheerios
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: nobody hustles harder than food marketers. They know you better than you know yourself. And now, sensing the rise of the MAHA, they’re trying to reel us in with “protein-packed” Cheerios.
This version might actually be worse than regular Cheerios. It’s got artificial flavoring, corn syrup, and a bunch of cheap pea protein, which, I guarantee is loaded with heavy metals.
PSA: When a food product loudly proclaims it’s “healthy” or “great for you” on the box, that’s your cue to be suspicious. It’s the nutritional equivalent of someone saying, “I’m a really good person.” Translation: 🚩
Verdict: Skip the protein Cheerios.
Vitamin D Supplementation Slows Aging: A study from Harvard researchers found that supplementing with vitamin D protects telomeres from damage. Telomeres are the end parts of your chromosomes—like little caps—and apparently an important indicator of longevity.
Telomeres is also the name of a band from Wales who, from 2018 to 2022, played in bars and on boats. The band called it quits a few years ago—which, after listening to some of their music, isn’t surprising. I wish them well, and I hope they’re supplementing with vitamin D in Wales!
It’s a Party in the ICU: Miley Cyrus recently revealed she spent a short stint in the ICU after developing a nasty, flesh-decaying infection on her knee.
She didn’t disclose the exact diagnosis, but many suspect it was either a strep or staph bacterial infection. Miley believes she likely picked it up while rolling around on the sidewalk at the Hollywood Walk of Fame during a photoshoot for her latest project.
Fortunately for us, the setback hasn’t stopped her from delivering the music we deserve. A snippet from her newest song:
No, I just can't give you up, no, I just can't give you up (Ooh-woo)
No, I just can't give you up, no, I just can't give you up
But you're not an easy lover (You're not an easy, you're not an easy)
Easy lover, hey
Anyway, let this be your friendly reminder: think twice before rolling around on a sidewalk. Wash your hands. Sanitize. Stay safe. And be an easy lover.
TikTok as Therapy: According to a recent “investigation” by The Guardian—and I use the word investigation loosely—mental health TikToks are full of misinformation. The reporters watched 100 TikTok videos and concluded that most of them are… bad. Groundbreaking.
I also use the word misinformation loosely, because in 2025, that word basically means anything said by anyone who isn’t funded by Pfizer.
Here’s a sample from the piece: “Those seeking help are confronted with dubious advice, such as eating an orange in the shower to reduce anxiety.” Honestly? I’m intrigued. Citrus and steam? Could be healing.
Here’s some actual mental health advice: Delete TikTok. Read the Bible instead of The Guardian. Go outside. Take a walk. Maybe eat an orange too.
Flavor of the Year: In an unexpected twist, brown sugar has been crowned the flavor of the year, according to a 2025 food and beverage trends report. From the poor journalist tasked with covering this high-stakes development at the New York Post: “With origins as a cooking and culinary ingredient, brown sugar has become a popular addition to everything from baked goods to sauces, beverages, and more.”
For us Buttercups, I’d recommend coconut sugar instead. Rich in antioxidants and much, much lower in actual sugar content.
No Magic Bullet for Weight Loss: Al Roker—aka America’s favorite weatherman—just graced the cover of People to talk about his weight loss journey. In the feature, he declares there’s “no magic bullet” and adds, “If I can do it, you can do it!”
Also from the same article (and I wish I were joking):
“After losing 100 lbs. following gastric bypass surgery…”
So yes, technically no magic bullet. Just full surgical procedure that reroutes your digestive system. Inspiring!
NYT’s Health Section:
I used to believe the old saying, “There’s no such thing as a dumb question.” Then I started reading the New York Times health columns and now I’m not so sure.
In their latest edition of groundbreaking journalism, we’re treated to:
(My answer: Asparagus is great!)
3-D Printed Food: A new company committed to creating 3-D printed food continues to advance its mission of “creating impactful innovations for the sustainable wellbeing and prosperity of society.”
Marketing tip for the company: if you’re trying to convince people you’re not a dystopian nightmare, maybe avoid using Orwellian phrases like “for the prosperity of society.”