What are the culture shapers eating to shape themselves? Let’s investigate.
Tom Cruise
I haven’t seen the 89th installment of Mission Impossible yet, but I’ve heard it’s great. And of course it is. Tom Cruise is great. Effortlessly cool. Did you know that he does his own stunts?
The whole scientology thing isn’t exactly my favorite, but honestly? I’m not above cults. If someone—especially Tom Cruise—invited me to a little cult meet-up, it’d be hard to pass. Particularly if there’s good food involved.
Anyway. Let’s talk about his diet. It’s intense. When he’s cutting for a movie, Cruise reportedly eats only 1,200 calories a day, which is like a teaspoon of butter and a glass of water. How depressing.
Other fun food facts about Tom:
Lobster is his favorite.
He’s a big lasagna guy.
He loves white chocolate coconut bundt cakes.
Running On Butter verdict: It’s giving reckless. It’s giving crash course dieting.
2/5.
Donald J. Trump
Whatever your political take on the President, I can confidently say this: nutritionally, it’s much worse.
McDonald’s and Diet Coke. That’s what our country was running on. That’s what stood between us and World War III.
Running On Butter verdict: As my mother always reminds me: we should be praying for our leaders. 1/5.
Kim Kardashian
A mom, sister, daughter, entrepreneur, and (almost) lawyer. Is there anything Kim K can’t do? All while being the picture of class klass. Ugh. It’s honestly annoying. We’re out here in the trenches. Hustling, grinding. Barely holding it together. And then Kim does something as casual as having a baby (via surrogate), and somehow still makes us feel like underachievers.
She of course doesn’t miss when it comes to food either. Kim’s been championing quality protein—and whole, unprocessed foods—for years, well before it was cool. Now that protein is trending in every corner of the culture, let’s face it: we have Kim K to thank.
Running On Butter verdict: 💅🏼🫦 5/5.
John the Baptist
John the Baptist walked so 2025 Instagram carnivores could run.
Locusts and honey. It doesn’t get more radical than that diet, and I love it. Locusts are actually quite the nutrient powerhouse. And honey, as you know, is nutritional gold.
Running On Butter verdict: Probably a great nutritional intervention to fight off an autoimmune disease or something. But as a lifestyle? 4/5.
Novak Djokavic
Novak is truly one of the greats. Twenty-four Grand Slam victories. That’s two dozen more than all the Buttercups combined.
His food routine is incredibly dialed in. After identifying a gluten sensitivity a few years back, he’s become a gluten-free king. He eats a lot of nutrient-dense fruits and vegetables, and emphasizes the importance of mindfulness while eating, showing thankfulness and appreciation for each flavor. He also enjoys wild fish.
Running On Butter verdict: The Buttercups will be rooting for Novak at the U.S. Open this September. 5/5.
Ariana Grande
She can sing. She can dance. She can act. But can she eat well?
Unfortunately, no. Ariana is a full-blown vegan. And that’s a shame, because animal foods are the most nutrient-dense on the planet. If she’s not eating meat, she better be supplementing with B12, creatine, iron, etc. But even then, you can’t out-supplement a poor diet. And in my humble opinion, a vegan diet is one of the most dangerous.
Ariana Grande might be a once-in-a-generation talent. But when it comes to food, she's the nutritional equivalent to Osama bin Laden.
Running On Butter verdict: Eat a steak, sweetheart. 1/5.
Atticus Finch
To Kill a Mockingbird is one of my favorite books. And Atticus Finch is the protagonist of all protagonists.
I also love Harper Lee’s inclusion of Southern staples like crackling bread, fried chicken, collard greens, Lane cake, pickled pig’s knuckles, and peach preserves.
Now, if these foods are crafted with animal fats like lard and butter (and in my mind, they are), then that’s wonderful. The book never specifies the kind of fat used, so I’m choosing to believe it’s the holy, healthy fat.
Running On Butter verdict: Courage tastes good—and it’s good for you. 4.5/5.
Meghan Markle
The royal homewrecker has opinions on food and diet. And let’s just say, they’re not very dignified. She, too, is a vocal promoter of the vegan lifestyle.
Allegedly, she once berated a wedding caterer for including eggs in a proposed dish, prompting Queen Elizabeth II (God rest her soul) to step in and remind her, “We do not speak to people like that in this family.”
Meghan also hawks a line of apricot jam, cookie mixes, and wine. To me, it reads: desperation.
Running On Butter verdict: Meghan, it’s clear your brain could use the choline found in eggs. Add some to your breakfast. Then go away. 0/5.
David Corenswet
I saw the new Superman last week and thought it was great.
(Am I the only one who thought Lex Luthor was giving major Jeff Bezos energy??)
Personally, I was hoping for a more inclusive narrative with a nonbinary, disabled BIPOC Superthem and a villain who symbolized the patriarchy. But no, they stuck with the classic WASP-y, pro-America vibe. Disappointing.
Anyway, after watching the regressive film, I found out David Corenswet gained 40 pounds of muscle for the role by eating 4,500–6,000 calories of protein-rich, whole foods.
Running On Butter verdict: David, please send me your entire meal plan immediately. 5/5.
Interesting how this group of people is who you associate with "celebrities."