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A Guide: The Running On Butter Thanksgiving

As we prepare for this week's festivities, I've highlighted five ways you can make your family's Thanksgiving a life-giving, health-advancing holiday rather than a gluttonous affair that makes you feel like you could star on TLC's My 500 Pound Life.


 

  1. Run That Turkey Trot


I grew up doing a family 5k each Thanksgiving morning with my cousins. The competition was stiff. Champions were crowned, tears were shed, and lessons were learned. Important lessons.


One year when I was 11 years old, I fell behind my faster cousins in the race. An unethical thought occurred: What if I cut through that field to make this race shorter? With the cold Pacific Northwest air slashing my lungs like a thousand cuts, I sidelined my morals and gave in to duplicity. I took the shortcut.


Now, it's one thing if I saw others doing this and decided to follow. Obviously still a sin, but more venial than mortal. But that wasn't even the case. I was the ringleader, baby!


"Massive shortcut this way!" I yelled at my cousins behind me. Some followed, others chose uprightness.


I was delighted to see a new personal best in my 5k when I crossed the finish line. But unfortunately that PR didn't get sanctioned because someone with a more sensitive conscience than me (Ellie? Noah? Rudy? I know it wasn't Deter, and Lord knows it wasn't Josiah) confessed that there were a pack of us that cheated. The punishment was so severe that I don't even remember it because #TraumaResponse.


Just kidding. In addition to his lecture about cheating, my dad probably made me stack firewood or something. Learn from my mistakes: If you're going to cheat, ensure you have blackmail on your accomplices when they try to turn on you. (Ellie, if you betray me, I will tell everyone that you have a crush on...)


In all seriousness, get out and go run or walk that turkey trot!


It's a fantastic way to start the holiday. And when the enviable moments of muscle pain and lung burn transpire, take that time to thank God for your health and fitness. Seriously. Don't ever take it for granted.



 

  1. Turn Off the TV


While there are endless characteristics to love about the land of freedom, one thing I don't appreciate about American culture is how home life is often centralized around the TV—especially during Thanksgiving.


Don't get me wrong; I'm all for a bit of football and holiday movie magic. But what I love more—and what I think is best for the health and soul of this great nation—is conversing with family and friends.


Catch up with your favorite cousin and invest in your grandparents. See what you might be able to appreciate about your overbearing mother-in-law or learn from your peculiar uncle. Talk about your family history and how you might add to its legacy. Reminisce about the simple days and encourage one another to press on in this beautiful life.


This isn't done in front of the TV.


Strong relationships are a key marker in one's longevity. Want to live long? Pour into others. Start with the ones who raised you.


 

  1. Cook Your Own Food


In a perfect world—one in which I'd reign autocratically—I would banish any U.S. citizen who opts for store-bought Thanksgiving dishes instead of homemade ones, dispersing this problematic cohort to small towns throughout America for what can only be called reeducation camp.


There, they would learn the truth about the wild, deleterious ingredients in store-bought Thanksgiving dishes like Costco's pumpkin pie. They'd also be trained by locals on how to make the killer cranberry sauce, mouth-watering turkey, creamy mashed potatoes, and bake the best pumpkin pie.


Let's make a commitment to make our Thanksgiving dishes this year. Not only is it more rewarding, it will taste better and it will be much healthier.


 

  1. Write a Thankfulness List


I know I sound like such a mom for saying this, but I want to challenge all you Buttercups to write a list of at least 10 things for which you're thankful. I'll start.


  1. Jesus: love his work.

  2. The United States of America: best country to ever exist.

  3. My parents and siblings: wouldn't be the man I am without them.

  4. 35 of my nieces and nephews: there are technically 37, but I'm only thankful for 35.

  5. Mozart's piano concertos: listening right now. Immaculate.

  6. Butter: eating right now. Immaculate.

  7. Human rights: obviously.

  8. The wife of my dreams who hasn't yet made a reality appearance: call me.

  9. Literacy: elitist, I know.

  10. The OG Buttercups: you know who you are.


Check out this piece I wrote last year about the health benefits of thankfulness.



 

  1. Welcome the Christmas Spirit


Do you hear what I hear? It's the queen of Christmas, Mariah Carey, defrosting.


Get ready for the most wonderful time of the year by listening to my killer Christmas playlist. I don't mean to brag, but the playlist has 50 saves on Spotify, thereby making me a Spotify influencer. I didn't choose this life; it chose me.




🦃🍂 Happy Thanksgiving! 🍂🦃

5 Yorum


Jared Rasmussen
Jared Rasmussen
25 Kas 2024

Karen Carpenter is the queen of Christmas. Mariah is just an auto-tuned Proverbs 5 woman. I love the rest of the article though.

Beğen
vancevoetberg
vancevoetberg
25 Kas 2024
Şu kişiye cevap veriliyor:

While I will defend everyone's right to speak freely, I will not put up with this harmful disinformation. Mariah is not autotuned.


I do love Karen Carpenter, though.

Beğen

kristintennison2016
25 Kas 2024

Awesome! Just awesome! Thanks for your sharing your wisdom and making me laugh! Happy Thanksgiving!

Beğen

Elyse O'Dell
Elyse O'Dell
25 Kas 2024

Thank you so much, Vance!

Beğen
vancevoetberg
vancevoetberg
25 Kas 2024
Şu kişiye cevap veriliyor:

crush that turkey trot 5k! 🏃🏻‍♀️🦃

Beğen

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