This week, I read some exciting health news—some real, some fake—so I highlighted the most interesting stories for you, my dear Buttercups.
First up, a little encouragement from CNN's health desk:
This is terrific news. Here I was, blaming myself for my lack of strength. Little did I know I'm not the problem—silly goose!—it's the weights for being too darn heavy.
It feels good to obfuscate blame. But let us not forget the words of Saint Oprah: "You are responsible for your life. You can't keep blaming someone else for your dysfunction."
Strength is a crucial indicator of longevity. Get strong, live long. Start by doing these home workouts.
Saturday Night Fever:
The Guardian reported that 19 people contracted the fungal infection known as "valley fever" after attending an electronic music festival in California's Central Valley.
Valley fever is caused by breathing in spores of fungus released from soil, and it's evidently not uncommon for the dwellers of Bakersfield, Fresno, and Modesto to contract it. Honestly, you can't do much to avoid it except not go to the valley of the shadow of death.
As far as the music festival went, Skrillex headlined. Looked lit.
Laced Candy and The One Way Trip:
The C.D.C. found that a popular mushroom candy was laced with an illicit, synthetic hallucinogenic that's been traced to over 150 sicknesses and two deaths, The New York Times reported.
It sounds like candy that would be passed around at a Skrillex set.
This is a good reminder never to take candy from strangers and to address the underlying issues that could make you think mushrooms might be a great escape. Like visiting Central California, messing around with shrooms is a trip we don't want to take.
Doritos Are The New CT Scan:
Stanford researchers discovered that Yellow No. 5, the coloring agent used in Doritos, among other junk foods, turns live mouse skin transparent, allowing the researchers to view the mouse organs, Fox reported.
Yellow No. 5 "could offer a variety of benefits in biology, diagnostics, and even cosmetics," the lead researcher told Fox. (Am I the only one curious about the cosmetic aspect here?)
It's important to remember that Yellow No. 5 is a petroleum-based food coloring that literally makes your kids go crazy. Petrochemicals, it turns out, do not make the best brain food. Shocking, I know.
Win for California Children:
Speaking of food dyes, California legislators just passed a bill that would prohibit the use of six synthetic food dyes in food and drinks at public schools, NBC reported.
If Governor Newsom signs the bill, it would be the single greatest political move he's made since his impeccable haircut. He may not lead the state well, but at least he's well-groomed!
They're Coming For Our Croissants:
Sitting next to Spotify Premium, the U.S. Constitution, and vitamin C serum, croissants are one of mankind's magnum opuses. I'll never forget my first croissant. It was magic.
"Vance, the founding father of one of the world's most influential health platforms, eats croissants?!" Before the mob tries canceling me (I dare you), I want to clarify: I don't think croissants are healthy and wholesome. They're made of refined flour, which elevates blood sugar and causes inflammation.
However, I don't believe croissants are as bad as other pastries. They contain no added refined sugar and are literally half butter. I don't eat croissants daily, weekly, or even monthly. But their culinary sorcery deserves to be savored a few times a year.
Okay, now let's get into the actual croissant news:
The Times reported on an Oxford study presented at the European Society of Cardiology conference claiming that after just one month, a daily croissant can "silently increase the risk of serious heart problems even if you do not put on any weight."
The study followed two groups of twelve people for four weeks. One group of twelve ate a diet high in saturated fat, while the other ate a diet high in polyunsaturated fat. At the end of the four weeks, LDL cholesterol levels in the saturated fat group rose 10%.
Now, the report would be noteworthy if elevated LDL caused heart disease. But the best science is unequivocal about what causes heart disease, and it's not elevated LDL. In fact, research shows that people with higher LDL live longer than those with lower LDL cholesterol.
Last year, I researched this subject extensively and spoke with some of the world's most brilliant physicians and researchers about the root cause of heart disease. You can read that full report here.
It's a must-read for those on statins or other cholesterol-lowering medications.
This new study (Croissant Gate?) aimed to retell the dogma: saturated fat is bad, and polyunsaturated fat is good. I'd be remiss if I didn't note that the European Society of Cardiology receives funding from statin makers—the profiteers of the "butter causes heart disease" propaganda.
Another fun fact? Croissants' homeland, France, has notoriously low rates of heart disease despite a lifestyle rich in butter. Oui oui, du beurre!
Until next time, be like the French—keep running on butter.
This article was very enlightening as well as very entertaining. Much like a Skrillex Concert.