Erythritol Causes Brain Damage
+ a Canadian woman went to the hospital for back pain and was offered assisted suicide.
Welcome back to another week of Running On Butter, a safe space for those who drive 10 miles out of their way to buy raw milk for $10 a gallon. You are seen. You are heard. You are among friends.
This letter is dedicated to my coworkers Brynn, who started her Friday with chocolate milk and fruit snacks, and Jett, who showed up with a Celsius energy drink in hand. You guys are the reason why ROB exists.
A new review found that healthier diets are linked to lower depression rates in teenagers. We shouldn’t need to fund research to tell us that Taco Bell and Celsius energy drinks (cc: Jett) aren’t exactly supporting adolescent development. But this research can help clinicians whose knowledge and practices are limited to what’s peer-reviewed. Research like this will (hopefully) help pediatricians start prescribing steaks and salads rather than SSRIs, which more than 2 million teens are currently taking.
The sweetener is common in protein bars, low-sugar sodas and ice creams, and is often mixed with monk fruit or stevia as a zero-calorie sweetener for baking or coffee.
After studies found a strong link between erythritol and strokes and heart attacks, researchers at the University of Colorado tested whether the connection might actually be causal. Their findings suggest it may be.
When they exposed brain blood-vessel cells to erythritol at levels similar to a typical sugar-free drink, the cells became less able to relax vessels, less able to break down clots, and showed more signs of stress and damage—changes associated with increased stroke risk.
“Given the epidemiological study that inspired our work, and now our cellular findings, we believe it would be prudent for people to monitor their consumption of non-nutrient-sweeteners such as this one," the lead research said.
Protein bar sentenced to the gulags: David Protein, a popular protein bar I’ve covered closely, is now facing a class-action lawsuit from plaintiffs alleging the bar contains roughly 70% more calories than advertised based on third-party testing. The company says the claim misunderstands a key ingredient: EPG (esterified propoxylated glycerol), a lab-created fat substitute that technically contains calories, but isn’t absorbed by the body.
What I find fascinating is the defense itself. In effect, the company is saying: you’re misunderstanding the label because you’re assuming this is normal food. It isn’t. The ingredients are engineered so differently from traditional foods that it’s not really food at all, but a substance designed to resemble it.
This is treasonous against our bodies and food itself. ROB’s House of Justice™ therefore sentences David protein to 10 years of hard labor in Siberia.
The founding chef of Noma, the Copenhagen restaurant that’s spent years at the top of the world’s best-restaurants list, has been accused of physically abusing his kitchen staff. One allegation involves him punching a sous chef for turning on techno music. Which, honestly, is fair.
Another chef said working there felt like “going to war,” and that “you had to force yourself to be strong, to show no fear.”
To which I say: how do you think three Michelin stars are earned? By patting backs and handing out gold-star stickers?
The current seasonal menu features reindeer brain custard. Innovating a dish like that isn’t for the weak. Sometimes punches are part of the price of inimitable cuisine.
A Canadian woman went to the hospital for back pain and was offered assisted suicide. She refused, recovered from her injury, and at 80 is now traveling the world. 5% of deaths in Canada are from medical assisted suicide.
The International Olympic Committee says it will introduce genetic sex testing for the 2028 Games. France called it “a step backwards,” and I agree. Devastating news for my gold medal pursuit.
Ozempic causes appetite loss. But many users also report losing their desire for other different aspects in life, too. “You can imagine a dystopian future—not unlike the sci-fi movie Serenity—where an entire planet’s population was decimated because their DNA was changed to make them not desire,” said Stanford researcher Dr. Anna Lembke. Not alarming at all.
Check out this great video essay on the political apparatus safeguarding glyphosate.
“My grandfather, H. B. Reese (who invented REESE’S), built REESE’S on a simple, enduring architecture: milk chocolate + peanut butter. Not a flavor idea. Not a marketing construct. A real product identity consumers trusted for a century,” wrote Brad Reese, grandson of the peanut butter cup mogul. Today, he says, that identity is being rewritten. Not by storytellers, but by formulation decisions that swap milk chocolate for compound coatings and peanut butter for “peanut-butter-style crèmes” across multiple REESE’S products. Brad, we here at ROB see you and respect you. Consider yourself a bonafide (peanut) Buttercup.
Does ROB endorse any alternate sweeteners? I’ve seen great promise from allulose 🤞