Man Cereal

a “high-performance” cereal with creatine and minimal carbs

Hello everyone and welcome to a medium-rare Saturday evening version of Running On Butter.

We’re on Day 15 of No Sugar November, and I’m calling on all Buttercups to pray for and support Micah from Minnesota. He’s fallen into temptation. But he’s seeking forgiveness and reconciliation into the ROB community.

Remember the prodigal son story Jesus told. We don’t want to be like the older brother. Let’s welcome Micah back into the fold with open arms.

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• This is a man’s world, and we finally have a cereal that reflects that reality.

  Man Cereal—a “high-performance” cereal with creatine and minimal carbs—has officially hit the (online) shelves. When I first heard about it, I was skeptical and fully expected the ingredient list to resemble David protein bars (read: very bad). But after looking into it, I’m pleasantly surprised. They’re using coconut oil instead of seed oils, and stevia instead of synthetic sweeteners like sucralose.

  I welcome this brand. Not only because it’s advancing the Testosterone Narrative™, but because it’s not cutting the corners I assumed it would. Good for them!

  Is it worth $46 for three boxes? I won’t pretend $46 cereal makes sense, but I do appreciate that Man Cereal is leveling up the category.

• One of ByHeart’s manufacturing facilities—a baby formula company—was shut down this year after inspectors found mold, a leaking roof, and more than 2,500 dead insects in a food-production area. The brand also dealt with a botulism issue earlier this year.

  There’s an important lesson here: look past the polished branding. Its vibe gives “happy babies” and “good mom,” but behind the scenes this was an incredibly unsafe product.

  

  And when it comes to what’s optimal for babies: breast is best. (Moms, please don’t come after me. ROB doesn’t sit around plotting, “How can I make moms feel like a failure?” But I do feel obligated to report what is empirically true.)

• Plastic surgeons in Washington, DC are now getting requests for “Mar-a-Lago faces.” I’m not sure how this is making America great again, but I suppose this vanity project can coexist with our broader national interests. After all, Kristi Noem has single-handedly made TSA hawt, not again, but for the first time. I’m honestly a little turned around by this political moment. Trump is applying the skillsets he picked up producing Miss Universe directly to federal agencies.

• Dr. Cate Shanahan argues that seed oils are a much bigger problem than glyphosate in a piece she published this week. It’s a bit biochemistry-heavy (nerd alert), but my eyes were piqued by this line was: “This is where the concept of toxic potential comes in.” Pretty sure that’s also how my best friends used to describe my ex. Toxic potential.

• Why do I suddenly want to join Antifa now that their protest tactics involve 80s aerobics? Big upgrade from defacing federal buildings.