Good morning, everyone.
I heard there was an opening for an ambassadorship in Greece. I humbly submit Running On Butter to represent U.S. interests in that beautiful land because (1) I watched The Odyssey this summer and (2) I love Kalamata olives.
Something for U.S. officials to consider, though: I can’t promise any less corruption than my predecessor. Like, what am I to do when rich people invite me aboard their private jets for a ski trip to Gstaad? Be rude and decline? Running On Butter is many things, but impolite is not one of them. You call it corruption; I call it genteel diplomacy.
In today’s letter, we’re discussing: Calley Mean’s departure from the White House, blueberries for the blues, a World Series’ pitcher’s aggressive nap schedule, Seattle’s burger-fueled marathon and grocery theft problem, cafés that require a fellowship to afford, a butter competition with bad judgment, and why King Corn still rules. Plus: infertility, a cute podcast host, and an invitation to share your own butter-worthy dispatch.
